Mens Rea

Passive Aggressiveness

Whether it was by some grand design or as a method of dealing with the ups and downs of my childhood, I tend to be passive aggressive. Mind you I do not mind arguing, but there is a huge distinction between an intellectual disagreement and full-out argument. My brother is even worse at avoiding any and all conflicts, but he just internalizes them rather than even attempt to deal with things. I guess in the back of my head, I think that by being passive aggressive, I am hoping that someone will get the picture. Unfortunately all of this is generally unconscious at the time and only in hindsight does it seem apparent. This is really delusional for how could someone know what I am thinking? Are they mind readers? No. And who does it end up hurting? Not them...me. Unless I was born with some sort of sick masochistic streak (and I am not ruling that out) there is no need to do this.

I have over the past year, dramatically increased my efficiency and my organization. Has this radically changed me? NO. It has reduced the anxiety of not knowing what is around the corner. Now, it is seeing the freight train coming toward me which is the issue. I have found that there are certain things that trigger this method of dealing with things. Irritation with someone or something. High maintenance (or to use a economic analogy- spending a disproportionate amount of time dealing with an unproductive or non-paying client) individuals. Items that are gargantuan and must be done in phases. Finally with self-rightous individuals. In other words much of this is situational. I would like to fix it, however I think that the answer is better to go with the flow. Meaning why try to make myself like something I do not. That is not to say that we never do things we do not like. But at the end of the day, can you say "I like what I am doing?" If the answer is no, then there's your answer. It is a "big picture" issue. For things that, in general, I enjoy I tend not to have these issues and my communication is far more direct and expectations are far more defined. Go figure.

Technorati Tags: GTD

...a long time gone

Much has happened in the time that I have since blogged, most for the worst to be frank. I have been busier than ever, but, alas, that certainly has not translated well into pecuniary gain. I am registering for classes (which may or may not even be worth it in the end) at the community college (some pre-requsites needed). It will be strange to take such introductory courses as it has been nearly 20 years since so doing. But I think if I end up finishing everything, I can literally be able to to kiss all of this goodbye and perhaps move.

Michigan is positively sick now. It is on its last legs. Call me a pessimist, but it will not recover. Never. Even our educational institutions were joined at the hip with the auto industry and now have lost their appeal and magic. Our stupid Republican representatives want to reduce funding. Sure, that may win some short lived political capital to your hick constituency, but if you want the greatness of the schools to survive, you had better prop it up. Alas, everything is a business these days and we do not invest in anything for the public welfare. That is the problem with this country of ours. No one feels that they have to sacrifice. I know I have. But others? No. They want to live life with blinders on.